How to make stress your friend

Kelly McGonigal presents a compelling case for changing our relationship with stress. Rather than treating stress as inherently harmful, she argues that our beliefs about stress matter more than the stress itself. When we view stress as a helpful response that prepares us for challenges, our physiological response actually changes for the better.

Key Arguments

1. Believing stress is harmful may be what makes it harmful. A study tracking 30,000 adults found that high stress combined with the belief that stress is harmful was associated with increased mortality risk.
2. Stress can be enhancing. When participants were taught to view their stress response as helpful, their cardiovascular profile during stress shifted from constriction (harmful) to a challenge response (healthy).
3. Stress makes you social. Oxytocin, released during stress, motivates social connection — reaching out to others during stressful times is a built-in stress resilience mechanism.

Evidence Context

The stress reappraisal literature is growing and generally supportive. Jamieson et al. (2013) demonstrated improved cardiovascular and cognitive responses when stress arousal was reappraised as functional. The mortality claim is based on observational data and should be interpreted with appropriate caution.